so halloween ruled.

partners in crime.

tell me, are you a badfish too?

better than the best.

trippin sac, hackey sack. pots and pans guy.

tonight, tonight

got bored of being confined to the campus, so kevin, hillary and i decided to go to the beach.

i've been walking so much that soon my feet will be worn down to nubs.

i love college (:

new laptop

productivity ahoy!

went to blink last night, SO excellent. can't even describe. i suck at updating this thing now thanks to twitter

makes no sense

I could've sworn yesterday when I went to bed it was june. Or at least it feels like that. It's practically August 1st; I move away in four weeks. Isn't that something.

It's so nice to hear your voice again, even if it's distorted by time and pain and faded memory.

sun is in the sky oh why oh why would i wanna be anywhere elllse? :)

xtired eyes (11:53:22 PM): you know im the ice queen grace

oh hey graceoday (11:53:29 PM): and im the ice duchess

oh hey graceoday (11:53:35 PM): maybe the ice lady-in-waiting

game on

you'd better put it behind you now

success!

welcome to graduation

done done doney bucky done gun doneee! g'bye '09<3

weird weekend

went shopping all day yesterday - found my grad dress! that made me a vair happy gal. still didn't help the fact that i was congested as a bastard all day, though. i took like 5 dayquil and still ended up going through 2 boxes of tissues.
i found out throughout the day yesterday that a growing number of my friends were getting sick; 5 of them were stricken after we had hung out the previous night. i wasn't worried, i just kinda hoped that we'd all be better for graduation. then today i get the news that andrea has the flu and isn't being allowed to attend grad per the health department. i feel so awful - '09 would not be '09 without that girl's work. melissa, yesenia and i battled through a number of obstacles just so we could end up on her lawn tonight at 10 pm, wielding candles, posterboards, ice cream, a balloon, and a flower, all in an attempt to cheer her up.


now here i am, less than a day before i'm due to officially become a college freshman. i wish i could say i'm thinking big, important thoughts about the future and the rapidly approaching responsibility that will be expected of me. i'm not. i'm looking forward, no doubt .. but just towards the next 24 hours.

class day & after

prom

hypocrisy

can you guys all knock it off please.

diablo

tonight was a mess on all sorts of levels.

Just the smell of the summer can make me fall in love.

Happy Birthday Dad ♥

the beginning of the end

t-minus 12 hours until my stats final begins; t-minus ten days til i'm outta school. holla

I think if someone were to ask me right now what I wanted most in the world, I'd surprise myself. I wouldn't answer with graduation or summertime or college. I'd choose to go back to England. I miss stealing wifi from the Bombay Brassierie. I miss the weather; crisp and chilly, with the subtle promise of warmer days. I miss the museums, shops, tours, plays, and seemingly limitless activities any day, any time. I miss the colloquialisms, the style, the history, the majesty, the BBC, everything.
It's a deep seeded internal yearning to get back to London as quickly as I can. I don't know why. Especially now, so suddenly, with so much to do and not enough time before the end of high school. I'm tempted to try and pay my way along with Kathy sometime over the summer; realistically, that's not financially possible for an 18 year old with no job, but I suppose I can always hold out hope?

Dear Gabby,

Sorry about your hair.

I was so anxious that I wouldn't get enough sleep before the ap test that I haven't been able to get enough sleep before the ap test. Drats.

pps

ps

softball studying studying studying softball some more studying and some more softball. my life is wicked boring lately. spice it up for me

"We are all . . . just vessels through which identities pass: we are lent features, gestures, habits, then we hand them on. Nothing is our own. We begin in the world as anagrams of our antecedents."

There's no love like a lost love, there's no pain like a broken heart.

Sunday, April 27th, 2008, 2.50 PM

"Are you with Mr. O'Day?" asks doctor as he steps into the waiting room.
"Yes, I'm his daughter," I respond.
"I'm Dr. Shepherd, I specialize in cardiology and blah blah blah blah had a heart attack blah blah blah blah blah."
All I could think was, "get to the point already."
Guess what the point was.
"I'm sorry to tell you, but your father has died."

Hm.

I hate permanence.
I haaaaaate cliches, sympathies, those comforts people offer in an awkward plight.
I also hate unanswered questions.
What a bad situation to find myself in, huh?

The fact that death is so permanent makes me completely incompatible with it and its principles.
The permanence was instantaneous. "He'll never see me turn 18," I thought in a panic. "He'll never see me graduate, never help me move into my dorm or walk me down the aisle or see his grandchildren."

Never. What an ugly word.

The cliches were nearly instantaneous, too. "Of course he'll see all that!" the grief counselor counseled. "He's always in your heart, wherever you go. He's watching you all the time from heaven!"

She obviously didn't know my dad. My dad's in hell, playing cards, eating a meatball sub and asking why everyone always complains about the heat.

It's the unanswered questions that get me. I've spent countless hours over the past year, contemplating the possible scenarios and how different life would've been if dad were here, living and breathing and blinking and walking and using the bathroom and eating badly and being my dad.

It leads me to marvel at the resiliency of human spirit. How, I wonder, can a girl take such a long journey from the day she finds out her father is dead three weeks shy of his 50th birthday, to the one year anniversary of his death, wasting time on a blog when she should be filling out housing forms for college? I'm not so naive or audacious to suggest it's been a breeze and I'm taking this all in stride; quite the opposite, actually. I've written and rewritten this so many times simply because there are so many ways to tell it. I've cried in secret more times than I care to count. I've been to rock bottom and absolutely hated myself, regretted the decisions I made and actions I took against my dad. And I've come back.

I've chosen this forum for a few reasons. First, it's easy, and I'm comfortable with it. Second, I want people to understand what happened without having to verbally explain, because frankly, that gives me a headache. Lastly, and most importantly, I wanted to honor my dad. I love him. I want him back, and I'd do anything to make that happen. There are days when I forget he's dead and buried; when I end up remembering, I feel like somebody literally tore a hole in my chest and took the most essential organ, my heart (how ironic that it was his heart that led my dad to an early grave), with them. There are days when I uncover some forgotten memory of him, or hear another funny story about him; those days are painful, but certainly not unbearable.

I'm not looking for pity or sympathy or religious wisdom. I'm just trying to




I'm not sure what I'm trying to do, actually.
I suppose I'm trying to tell my family I love and appreciate all they've done, and all they continue to do.
I'm trying to reach my dad in some supernatural internetty kinda way, to let him know I love and miss him every minute of every hour.
I'm trying to move on with my life.
But I'm not trying to forget him. I'm actually trying to remember.
I'm trying. And that's all I can expect of myself, for now.

seriously did not miss this weather.

or massachusetts.

time awaits for no man

Two years ago today, I woke up at Rachael's to pancakes, eggs, and cryptic text messages from my mom. I eventually found out my grandmother had died.

Five days later, I broke my finger.

One year ago today, I had a game at Notre Dame, a job interview (for a kickass job I'd eventually get) and a stilted conversation with my dad.

Five days later, he died.

Now here I am, sitting in a Floridian condo, remembering them both.

Where has the time gone?

What's gonna happen five days from now?

can i stay forever?

florida

byeeeee

Easter!

Despite being kicked off at 4.30 am by my drunk sister, Easter ended up being really fun.

Went to Lisa's for a few minutes to say hi to everyone. Spent about six and a half hours at Jack's, watched the Celtics gets decimated by the Cavs and the Sox get beat by the Angels. Booooo. Went to Melissa's after to film an English project with her and Meg; I don't remember the last time I've laughed that hard.

anxious.

why did i choose to start doing all of my psychology work recently?

harrumph.

rain, rain?

april, april, go away,
come again another day never.


what's gonna happen this time?

So much for the unfailing generosity of those Christians, huh? Love my life a little too much sometimes.

Went to my first Celtics game tonight with my brother. At halftime, my uncle (who sold me the tickets in the first place) had a surprise for me ..

He took me down to the court during halftime to watch the CMass Shamrocks play a few minutes of ball, and then I got to high five every Celtics player as they made their way back onto the court. Since I high fived Rondo, I'm under direct orders from Georgia not to wash my hand until she can rub it on her face tomorrow for about five minutes.

Celtics ended up beating Oklahoma, 103-84.

eating my words

pink eye. is that what i get for making light of a situation about everything secular?


my parents met 32 years ago today. my dad died 11 months ago today. weird.

pleasepleaseplease

I'd probably be a hypocrite if I started getting religious and praying right now, wouldn't I? Considering what I'd be praying for, though, I think the Big Cheese should cut me a break.



Thanks in advance, God. Regards to baby Jesus and the crew.

geriatric at heart

i have a headache, sore throat, stuffy nose, pulled muscles, aching joints and a hurting back.

and up until 7 pm yesterday, i was the picture of (almost) perfect health. sweet.

Went to Andrea's tonight with Yesenia and Evan. We got food from Ted's, which ruled, and watched Role Models, which ruled even more.

My iPod's been acting up lately, so I was forced to restore it. Only about 5% of my original library remained on the thing, so for the past two hours I've been sitting here re-downloading everything from the list of artists I had. Although I usually consider rebuilding the library daunting, I instead plopped happily in my chair, taking some loopy sense of satisfaction from the pure effort I was devoting. I've downloaded 200 songs already, and I'm only halfway through C. Jeez.

Still. It's good to hear all my chickadees again.


Btw --

"Emily May to You, March 20 at 1:20pm

I had no idea you had a blog! I guess that I would have, had I looked at your info page before today...I'm loving it! You're a great, honest writer and it's a real pleasure getting to know a little bit more about my cousin. :) xo"


hiyaa em!

22314-31701

Eight years have passed, and not a day goes by I don't miss you.

LaughOutLoudx321 (9:25:07 PM): omg

LaughOutLoudx321 (9:25:14 PM): exactly 11 weeks til graduation from tomorrow


!!!!!!!

chester french is on mtv hits right now. does anyone else find something wrong with that?

Phew

One of the most dramatic weeks of my life has come to a satisfying close. Yesterday was the easiest day of school in my life, I hung out with good people all day and night, went shopping with gabby today, and came home to an acceptance from Assumption. I finished the college process at 6-0-1, which is pretty remarkable if you knew me at all in the first two years of high school. It's 50 degrees out and spring is well on its way. I'm incredibly happy.

piece

moped around tonight, and then got a call from taylor and rebekah. they came to pick me up in rebbie's shitty korean car piece with ej at the helm and some girl in the back who was convinced i was spitting on her. we got stuck in uxbridge with a tire that was flat as fuck, and luckily some wannabe mechanic was there and willing to fix it for $3. ej made us wait for her friend's lancer piece so they could gallivant off to florida, and we went to get rebbie's mom's car so her tire wouldn't fall off and we wouldn't die. now i'm home again, jiggity jig, and some voles can go vole and i can finally go to sleep.

merry england

arrived around 6.30 am sunday morning. by the time we were nearly prepared to leave the airport, bob throws up. after he finished that bit up, we hurried to catch the tube; by we i mean kathy, maria, marlene, and me. big jack, little jack and bob just casually strolled. they missed the train, so kathy coached us on how to get to our hotel and got off at the next stop to meet up with the others. by 8.30 we had all reached the hotel, and were told we couldn't get our rooms til noontime. meg met up with us and took us to a cute little cafe. she left to go study for a final, so the rest of us went on a double-decker tour around the city. aaabsolutely freezing.

monday we finished 85% of the bus tour around the entire city. stopped off at the tower of london for the day. toured some of the place with a beefeater named tom jones. finished that tour, went to see the crown jewels (gorgeous) and i ate the shittiest lunch ever. left the tower a few hours later and went to meet up with meg for dinner.

tuesday went to westminster abbey which was my favorite part of the entire trip. the architecture is so remarkable and the entire place is in perfect condition. the lady chapel left me literally speechless. we were planning on going to the cabinet war rooms after but jack and i conspired to change the plan to instead go on the london eye. in the end we got our way because we're brats.
the eye is a giant ferris wheel with pods that hold up to 25 people. it takes half an hour to do a full revolution, but at its pinnacle you can see over the entire city. met up with meg for dinner again at a nice little italian place where we all had delicious pizza. later that night, pat called me and told me my acceptance from catholic u had come.

wednesday was relaxing. meg was leaving for italy that morning, so we all stuck around for awhile til she was gone. kathy, big jack, and bob still wanted to see the cabinet war rooms and the imperial war museum, so they went off and did that while the other four of us went to a few museums and stores within walking distance. went to the natural history museum, the victoria and albert, and harrod's. went back to the hotel, napped, got ready later on to go see an adaptation of the lion king. absolutely mindblowing, i loved it.

thursday we went to the british museum. saw the rosetta stone, the gates from assyria, artifacts taken from the parthenon and mummies from egypt. it was legit. later that night we went to see a play called jersey boys, a biopic about frankie valli & the four seasons, which was so well done.

friday went to madame tussaud's! i took pictures with (figures of) all my favorite celebrities. morgan freeman, daniel radcliffe, posh & becks, britney spears, the beatles, bob marley, jfk. yanno. all the greats.

saturday morning checked out and went to the airport 50 minutes before they were even announcing our gate number. leaving was bittersweet; london had been such a wonderful time we were sad to see it end, yet we were all excited to get home.

united lost my luggage so that was a lousy way to end such a great vacation. they delivered it this afternoon, thankfully. and now i've been home for less than 24 hours and i've already gotten into an argument with my sister. cheers.

february 14th, 2009

is finally here, and so for the next week i must bid adieu to my family, friends, vacation, napping opportunities and the obamas. i'll return a worldly girl, wielding prezzies for you all. i'll be in london in approximately 26 hours, so bon voyage and bon jovi. see you in the next life, don't be late

hey, cut it out

i.e. directed at anyone who's already bitching that they want this week to be over. we all do. derrrr fred

got about 4 inches lopped off my hair today. it's about the only noteworthy thing that happened but i'll take it

last night - ngoc picked me up, we went on a birthday card hunt, then met billy gabby and matty at blackstone. stood in red robin for 45 minutes waiting for everyone, waiting to be seated. finally sat, where i was wedged between ngoc and frank/across from gabby and matty. i had the most entertaining seat in the house fo sho cas frank checked the red robin website before he came so he kept talking about it all night. i was in stitches. after everyone left the restaurant, billy gabby matty kim  meaghan and i stuck around blackstone, but we finally got kicked out of the movie theater lobby an hour later. gab drove me home and i passed out immediately. 

today - woke up, took a shower, got ready, went to danny's basketball game. when that was over, i went back with rachael to her dad's house, where i was forced to watch the rat man episode of scare tactics. pat came to pick us up and rachael and i went with dewey to the mall, and my wallet is considerably lighter. we're at my house now, watching snl and real chance of love.

happy?

happy.

aaaaahhhhh.

it's a beautiful day, i'm seeing all my favorite people this weekend, i have most of my homework done, and i came home to two college acceptances. ballin'

LaughOutLoudx321 (8:16:40 PM): wtfff

LaughOutLoudx321 (8:16:54 PM): why's everyone after you lately?

pioneer this

south - 55

saint john's - 53

home again, jiggity jig

washington was so fun. for new year's eve, we ordered chinese food and watched kathy griffin comedy specials. new year's day we toured some colleges and went to see burn after reading at the draft house. i'm unsure of whether or not i like that movie. brad pitt was a riot, but everyone else drove me nuts. it was kinda pineapple express-ish in that it was soo unexpectedly violent. spoiler alerts brad pitt gets shot in the head, and john malkovich shoots and axes the nicest guy in the whole dumb movie. the whole thing shit the bed from that point on.

yesterday, jack, dewey and i went to the smithsonian museum of natural history to see Deep Sea 3D at the IMAX theater. it ruled. jack and i had lunch (kelly dupont, how's your dad doing?) and then we went to the butterfly farm they had in the museum. it was 85 degrees in there, which was so much fun in a north face and scarf, you guys should all try it sometime. 

we went to the smithsonian american history museum for 5.5 seconds before deciding that it wasn't worth it to go for the millionth time, especially with a crowd that big, so we walked to the fed and got in trouble with a rent-a-cop. joy unbounded.

today was mostly uneventful, besides dewey's headphones getting run over in the parking lot; i almost peed my pants when that happened.

the guy that checked boarding passes at the security checkpoint in the airport gave dewey and jack checkmarks on theirs, and on mine he wrote something that looks suspiciously like "GAY". we saw no yarmulkes this trip, so we started a new count of things spotted in a crowd. birkenstocks ahoy.

i belong in dc.